Monday, October 30, 2006
To Lose.
Hello everyone.
Its definitely been a while since i wrote my last post. Have just been extra busy with tests and assignments and presentation, as usual. But it was great to have my family last week. Miss them a lot now and it'll be another month before i get to see them again. After i go though all of my exams. Which i so can't wait for. The end of this whole course. Until i can finally get out of this bloody place.
Its funny how things change in such a short, short time. Emotions especially. But what's funny is how when they DON'T change. How they remain the same after all that's happened. After every thorn that goes deeper than you can ever imagine. Which is just painful to think about.
Well, i guess i have immersed myself too much in all these feelings. Hoping for something good, whatever that something is. But i definitely know there's nothing like that now. I have 4 to 5 weeks left for me to shut myself from these feelings and focus for a bit. Just a bit more. Anything that can help me for a better year next year.
2006 has probably been one shitty year. Well not so shitty. I have had good moments and fun times and people i can go back to yes. But when one thing fell apart, the rest just slowly came in tumbling. And it was one thing after the next. I have felt everything i can possibly feel and i'm exhausted. Exhausted of all the tears. I think i have surely come to the point where the worst of the worst has happened. If anything worse than this happens, I simply have nothing to say to myself. Simply nothing to feel, as a matter of fact. As if i don't feel so alive already.
This seems like a morbid post i know. But this blog is pretty morbid anyway.
I'm just happy i still have people to turn to. People who i can just pour out mostly everything to. Even if i may have lost some of those people.
Damn it. What goes around, definitely comes around. And it sucks. Remember that.
Ta.
i spilled my heart at
5:05 PM
